For anyone who has ever wondered about the concept of ‘self-love’, I think you should all reconsider what we are told it is. I used to believe it was all about eating healthy, working out, maintaining a positive attitude and being happy with your life in general. I no longer think it really looks anything like that at all.
I think real self love is about giving yourself what you actually need, at any given point of time. I don’t think it’s about being happy at all. I think it’s about survival. I think It’s about balance, and health, and mental health, and hypocrisy, and forgetting what we are told it should be.
I think it can look like wanting to get fitter, and being proud of yourself for working out, and making that happen.
I also think it can look like slumping into a couch with ice-cream, and your dog on your lap, after a hard day.
I think it can look like Tim-tams for breakfast and a protein shake for lunch.
I think it can look like crying yourself to sleep, and waking up feeling lighter, and ready to face a new day.
I think it can look like dressing up to the nines for a night out, and not caring that you look like a swamp hag the next day at home.
I think it can look like looking like a swamp hag when you go to the supermarket, because when it comes down to it, people really don’t give a fuck how you look, and even if they do, you don’t give a fuck what strangers think.
I think it can look like missing something about someone, but not ever wanting them back in your life, because you know they are toxic, and you are better off without them.
I think it can look like just lying on a bed when you are tired, even though you have three loads of washing to fold.
I think it can look like folding three loads of washing, because you know it will be satisfying to have done.
I think it can look like an honest phone call to a friend when you are not okay.
I think it looks like speaking kindly to yourself, and forgiving your own mistakes.
I think it can look like sitting in the sun with your dog and just breathing.
In short, I think self love looks like whatever you need. Whatever your body tells you it needs or wants. Whatever will improve your mental and physical health, and not necessarily concurrently. And yours probably looks a lot different to mine. There is no generic version of it. And I think anyone who tells you otherwise, is probably doing more harm than help.
The magazines, the influencers, the motivators, the shamers, the haters, the advertisers, the companies…they’re all doing what they do for themselves. The ones telling us we are not pretty enough, slim enough, good enough, strong enough?…always have a price tag at the end of their speeches.
Choose what is best for you. Listen to yourself.
Cheers Kids.
V
vampressa 