It’s getting to that time of year when people start evaluating their lives, their situations…themselves. It’s like a clean slate is somehow magically put before them, and they get to start all over again. Like all the bad things, and bad decisions, from the previous year will just magically wash away with the turn of the clock. Sure they will. Right.
This year (I resolve) I’m going to quit all my bad habits, lose weight and get healthy, clean up my life and be awesome!! But I can’t do it until that clock ticks over. And this year I mean it…(sigh) You know what a better idea would be. How about just doing it now?
I’m not buying into the whole New Year thing. You all know I started my changes months ago. I’m impatient. I didn’t want to wait for the bell to chime to make my life, myself, better. Why do we wait? For the start of a new day, a new week, or a new year…We wait for the things we want to happen, for other people to make up their minds, for things to end or begin. Why don’t we make them happen? We only get one shot at this ‘life’ thing. If you want it, do it. Now…before it’s too late, before things change, before the moment passes, before the sun sets.
And whatever it is you want, or want to do, remember it is just that. What YOU want. You don’t need to justify your choices to anyone else. It’s not their life to live, not their choice to make. If they can’t agree with you, or at least agree to disagree, and accept the fact that you have made your decisions, then that’s not your problem. People are a lot more resilient than we give them credit for. They deal with things, just as we have to, when we have to. In trying to save others, often we forget that we are, in the process, often hurting ourselves. I’m not saying we should disregard the feelings of others, but there is a line. Every time you put someone else first, you sacrifice a small part of yourself. A small part of your strength and independence. A part that makes you, you.
I know sometimes a decision is not in our hands. Sometimes we wait, because others wait, and we have no choice. For me, there is someone ridiculously special. Someone strong and emotional, sexy and funny, intelligent and clever, motivated and practical. Someone complicated and stoic, intense and captivating, witty and sharp. Someone that makes me feel everything so intensely. Someone I love. Someone worth waiting for. So I wait. I wait because, for lack of a better explanation, I have to… Unless your reason is that good, why are you waiting?
Of course, that doesn’t mean my whole life is on hold. I’m still getting on with everything else-work and play. I’m taking the time to catch up, so when the bigger picture comes together, I’m ready for it all to fit together. I’m getting ‘myself’ back. I was really missing that person.