So after a few drinks with friends, an old and a new, followed by a soul soothing conversation, I find myself wanting for something to do. Saturday night, and I sit here alone in my office (I say alone, as my two girls are totally flaked out around me) and thoughtful.
I contemplate getting another bourbon, but decide that something a little more relaxing would be the ticket. Comfort food is usually a bad idea, but not tonight. Tonight is is a great idea. Comforting in fact.
So, 20 minutes later I’m back with a slightly-short-of-midnight-snack-sized hot apple pie (yes, it’s reduced sugar etc, as apparently I can’t even shop guilt free any more-sigh) but it does have a healthy glob of freshly whipped cream melting all over it. To cool it of course…for this hot weather… and an ice cold glass of Amarula cream on the rocks, to fix that earlier break in my voice. A great idea indeed.
I find the appropriate mellow music to accompany my sweet fix, continue to hope that today’s workout covers my indulgence, at the same time not really caring if that’s true, and try to relax.
I don’t relax well. My brain turns over constantly, and no exception to the rule is tonight. With all of the olds and news…thoughts and hopes and reckonings, it doesn’t rest. But it’s a good thing. Where it used to twist to thoughts of sometimes harsh and grey, tonight it is very much black and white.
Tonight there is a plan. It will take a lot of back and forthing, calculation, and time, but a plan none-the-less. It is a plan that takes me out of my comfort zone, and one step further to where I want to be, where we want to be, so in the right direction. Not just a wish-a plan…I haven’t held much faith in those lately, but I haven’t really committed to many of them either. This one is different. It’s a plan backed by a fuck-tonne of determination and passion, and that makes it one thing that many others aren’t. Possible. It makes it possible.
So I scarfed my dessert treat, and then lingered over the Amarula with ponderings and a smile. One day soon, I’ll tell you all about the plan, but for now I’ll just say that the very thought of it makes me happy.
I hope you can all find your plan Kids, trust me there is one.