Will to the power of one.

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Willpower…I never thought I had any-honestly.

I am fully aware that I lack a lot of the fundamental brain functions that others seem to possess, such as high tolerance to idiots, keeping inappropriate comments to myself, lots of patience and conforming to general opinion. I also thought one of those talents I did not possess was the ability to resist temptation. I have never been happier to prove myself wrong. It just requires the correct form of motivation it would seem.
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I have stuck to my guns, diet and workout regime to get myself to a better place. I am not there yet, but I can see it in the distance. It’s similar to the glow of the lights of Las Vegas, as you reach the top of the last crest before the Strip. It’s still just beyond reach, but you can almost feel the glow of it. You know that when you get there, there will be dazzling lights and fanfare (okay, maybe only in my mind in this case) …but the glow… Definitely the glow.

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What I have discovered is, that along with my determination and stubbornness, it’s amazing what you can resist, push yourself to do and achieve, if you keep the end game in mind rather than what’s right in front of you. If you have a goal. Some…thing that you really want.
The even better thing is, that while you’re keeping that goal firmly in mind, you come across all of these smaller challenges and achievements that make you feel better about yourself along the way. You feel stronger, healthier, happier and more stable. You learn a lot of things. It’s win-win really.
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In the last 12 months (literally) my life has been all over the place, One huge thing after another, after another…and then another. Everything changed and changed…and changed again. Plans, people, situations…everything. And it’s about to all change again, how I’m not sure yet, but I’m not worried about it this time. Taking the time to focus on myself has been somewhat liberating, and  I know that I’m going to put everything I’ve got into getting what I want…
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Stay positive Kids. Start every day with a smile. It’s a new beginning.

XX-V

 

 

It hurts so good.

images (25)So, I said I was going to try and get in shape-Yes? Not the first time I have said it for sure, but the first time I have wanted to badly enough to do it. I mean really do it. Not just a half-arsed attempt with a few lettuce leave and lots of prayer, but really worked at it. After almost three weeks of eating well, working out right and learning a lot, I have started seeing the kind of results I am aiming for. Not quick enough of course…I mean two weeks…yes yes…patience isn’t my strongest virtue, but it’s getting stronger…and so am I.

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Let me elaborate on those two methods however, as the world is obviously hanging on the edge of their seats, needing to know.

Eating firstly, because this is probably the biggest factor. I never really ate that badly meal-wise, but did have an unhealthy relationship with late night desserts and boredom snacks. That coupled with my love of carb laden foods like (any form of) potato and bread products, could only mean disaster if not combatted the right way. Of course living with someone with the metabolism of a freakin’ hummingbird didn’t help either.

So, I looked into (a lot) the types of foods to eat and avoid and when. I am eating more regularly and substituted in and out the ‘right’ foods for my schedule. I hunted out a few recipes, and replaced ‘bad’ snacks with healthier, natural, clean, unprocessed treats made at home. I have included all sorts of vitamins and extras (all chemical free) to help fix and build and repair what I break.
If nothing else, it makes you a little inventive in the kitchen (while cooking that is) trying to find ways to eat the same foods in a  different way, so it doesn’t get boring.
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Don’t go getting the wrong idea about this ‘diet’ and ‘replacement’ plan however…I don’t buy into all the new age fad diet crap. Chia is not the new black (I’m not saying it’s not healthy, but neither is the way people are obsessing over it), and quinoa (however you want to pronounce it) will never replace anything of substance for me. I don’t mix kale into my shakes and won’t agree to living solely on lentils.
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I have just learned a few new tricks and started eating more simply. I am giving my body what it needs rather than what it wants. M’kay?

Workouts, my second key. The trick to feeling more alive, energised…and every muscle in your body that fucking exists!
I have cut two 30-60 minute workouts into each day. One cardio, and one weight based, to trim down and tone up. (It sounds good in theory anyway). I have discovered that of all the different focus days-core is my most hated. And it hates me right back. Such hate. Such spiteful,painful hate.
download (3) The other good thing about this, is that for that few hours a day, you focus on yourself. You get to zone out and think about how your muscles are working, burning and what you are doing. You get to think about why you are doing it, and how you will feel when you achieve your results. For that few hours you get to hate yourself, but also love yourself just as much.
A short while after, you realise that you must really just hate yourself anyway, based on the amount of pain you are now in, and that it was self inflicted. But a few hours is better than nothing ;)…and then there’s this…
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And the result so far… I hear you all ask with bated breath?…
Well, I feel heaps better. And that’s what it’s about. Better health-wise and simply because I am doing something positive for myself.
I know there are small changes in the way I look too I guess. A few people have said the change is not so small, but I am my own worst critic, so I’ll stand by ‘small changes’ until I see the result I want. I have been on a scale once in the three weeks, and probably won’t again. My weight doesn’t matter as much as how I see myself and feel. I want to look in the mirror and like what I see, I want a reason to buy new clothes, or just be happy that the ones I have no longer fit properly. I want to take these pics…
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There are very few important things I want right now, but the things I do want are the ones I am willing to work for, invest time in, and learn patience to get where I want to be with. If you haven’t learnt this about me yet, it’s that my impatience has only ever been dominated by my stubbornness and determination to get what I want. I am learning to control my patience, but the other two are still very much intact.

And to close with a quote from one of my fave films…”It’s better burn out, than to fade away!”

Cheers Kiddo’s
-V