So, it seems that one topic keeps surfacing lately. Maybe from lack thereof, or maybe it’s just the universe reminding me it exists…Sex. *omg she said it* we hear them whisper in hushed tones of discomfort.
It seems that no matter who I am talking to, or about what, it gets a special mention for one reason or the other. So why not just bring it out into the open forum. Never really been one for shying away from blunt topics anyway.
I told someone in jest today that it feels like I might just die soon, because it’s been so long without, and they went on to trump my meagre timeframe by at least double…and this was a guy. And he didn’t even care. Huh?
I told someone I was ill this week, and they joked that perhaps my virginity was growing back. I’m sure my use of the term ‘re-hymenating’ in the conversation would amuse a certain friend to no end. I should have been angry at the suggestion considering the circumstance, but I’ve not ruled it out as an actual reality, so I couldn’t be…As much.
In any case, it may not have been quite so long as it sounds (and no, that number is none of your business), but what I’m talking about when I say ‘sex’ is the real stuff. Not the shallow, meaningless, whatever kind. The intimate, passionate, connected, comfortably amazing kind. And it’s out there, just not from the people that send a plethora of dick pics and one line, badly spelled text messages.
It’s in late nights and early mornings. It’s in short drives and hotel rooms. It’s in nights of drunkenness and laughter. It’s in sleepy Sunday mornings and midnight awakenings. It’s in short greetings after long absences. It’s in every days and beach picnics.
It’s in glass houses and steamy kitchens. It’s in hot showers and big, soft, sprawling beds. It’s in distracting thoughts and carpet burns. It’s in tilting your phone, so nobody else can see the picture. It’s in moments you can’t forget, even if you try. It’s in a simple touch or look. It’s still there.
I think the problem, or not problem if you should look at it in another way, is really that I don’t want to just settle. I don’t need to lie on a bed next to just any warm body that’s around, to feel like I have obtained worthiness or popularity. I’m not selling out my emotional to the physical, or vice versa…I want both or nothing.
I don’t want to be with someone I don’t feel that connection with, with all the passion I have. I don’t want the ‘next best’ thing. I don’t need to be with someone I wouldn’t want to give my all to, regardless of whether or not I ever would again. I don’t need the easy road. I know what I want. And regardless of what anyone else thinks, I know that it’s as simple as simple can be, no strings, no bullshit, no empty promises.So while the world concentrates on hunger, poverty and missile warfare, I’ll just be over here sulking about my own completely selfish first world problem. The struggle is real, for now.
I hope whatever you’re getting, is putting a crazy wicked smile on your face. Life is short, and long, and hard. Own it.
Sweet dreams Kids