You spin me right round Baby

The last few weeks have been a fun ride of ups, downs, and fall downs. All the usual mental turmoil prevails, yet health has been in the spotlight moreso recently.

The first issue is a curly one, more specifically Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo. This is a joyful condition, especially to someone who suffers from motion sickness, that makes the room spin in circles, when you lie down or twist the wrong way.
In case you have not yet got the full effect of what this feels like, from the short description…think back to the very first time you were SO sick from alcohol, that you said you were Never ever ever drinking again, EVER. You know, where the smell of that one type of drink, now makes you reactively dry-reach just by the smell? That uncontrollable dizzy, spinning, feeling that makes you want to involuntarily throw-up. That about sums it up. Now imagine it’s there ALL the fucking time. Description over.

The even better part, is that although they can tell you it is caused by a twist or knock to the head/neck…there is no cure/solution for it. The only way to help it, is by actually inducing episodes, and hope it eventually fades away. My bone shrink said I had the most extreme reaction to the test she had ever seen. Did I mention it’s been fun few weeks?

Then there was Friday. I dragged out of bed, where likely I should have just stayed there. It was warm and comfy, and there were dogs to snuggle. But no, not this little black duck. I got up and went to work, arriving late due to the weather, and to a myriad of small problems awaiting already. So, at lunchtime I escaped to go and get food.
We’re driving back, ready to turn into the side street, green light…car speeding recklessly toward us. Car doesn’t brake for red light. Car doesn’t even show signs of imminently stopping. I mention this faintly, and thankfully my driver hesitated long enough to make the decision to stop.
Other car screams past, along the centre of the tram tracks, just brushing our nose as we felt the water spray go by.

Just two seconds, and by calculation, Friday would have been over. End game, thanks for coming.
I came home and hugged my girls for an extra long time that evening. I stayed in. I figured all my luck was used up for the day.

I was at a crossroad of whether to cancel plans for the weekend, or enjoy the fact that I was still here to make them, so I did both. Cancelled the more strenuous peopling, art and rainy day in, walk in the rain, sunshine and markets, catch-up with a friend, movie watching with my girls, packing, unpacking, errands, trying new foods, and chores. Trying to create some sort of life balance, that my emotional and physical body currently lacks. Guess we’ll see how it all pans out by tomar night, to say if it’s been successful or not, and maybe by the end of the week for a little further insight into the rest.

Hope you’re all taking time to take care of yourself Kids.


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