The last few weeks have been crazy. Not just a little bit, but seriously all over the fucking place crazy. You see, I ended up at the this spot. It was a moment that spoke to me (see? even voices in my head crazy). It said something along the lines of-“if you don’t inspire change…nothing will fucking change!”, and that is not something I’m willing to tolerate right now. I’m stuck in a place that reeks of nothingness and going nowhereness. And I want more. I finally want more.
So, I set about changing a few things, firstly my motivation and point of view. I went on a short trip away to somewhere new to shake the routine from my near vision, and explored on my own, to extend my comfort zone. I loved it way more than I thought possible. Where the thought of getting lost in a strange place used to inspire hesitation and doubt, I found it becoming more exciting and adventurous, and realised that even when I am lost, there is always a way back. That I am more grounded than I know.
While I was away, I found the opportunity to address a few long overdue issues behind the scenes, and found it settled my inner self and overactive thought processes a lot too. It didn’t solve any problems, but it did answer some lingering questions, and help balance my heart versus head debate to some degree.
On return, I have set another few balls in motion, to change lifestyle, employment and other such material things as vehicles and smaller possessions. The smaller things will all collectively make life easier and more convenient. The bigger, right changes and opportunities will make me better. Make me more motivated and enthusiastic, and ultimately, hopefully, more engaged and have a brighter outlook on life in general.
After a 30 hour, heavy work week of varying disjointed night/morning shifts with an extra 8 hours travel time thrown in, very little sleep, and disharmony in the the environment, I could use a plain sail in the future to look forward to. So instead of wishing, I’m looking, and applying, and enquiring, and trying.
I’ve also decided to invest more time in doing things that help me feel better about myself, something I have always struggled with. Other people tell me nice, empowering things about me, that I often struggle to accept. I have to start believing that that there is more worth than I have ever seen, and that means actively improving certain things to make them more positively clear to me. Fitness, self image, attitude, pro-activity, talent/skill-set, aesthetics-to name a few. It also means evaluating the people I share my time with. Because very little is more valuable than time and who you share it with, and regardless of what we may think, it has a huge impact on how we view the world from inside out.
In a nutshell, that’s about it for now. The details would take all day to tell, but overall it means there’s big changes in the wind. It means there’s both exciting and trying times ahead. It means I have not yet given up…and the world should be prepared for that.
I hope you all have a plan kids. Even if you don’t stick to it to the letter, it’s nice to think that we are all going places (even if we don’t know where until we arrive 😉 )