So I saw this quote today…
“…breaking down, you meet the best people… shitty people don’t stop to help you so you don’t meet shitty people…”
It was obviously about vehicular fail, but how easily and honestly it could be applied to everything else also. Life fails, universe fails, people fails…
When you have a really rough time, a loss, a hurt…a breakdown, that’s when you need to be surrounded by the right people, and consequently when you find out exactly who the right people are.
The people that make the effort to help, to comfort and just be there for the things you need, when you need them. They empathise, and even more important than all of these things…the ones that do it simply because they want to.
The people who really care, will show you, without words or expectation of reward or return. They don’t give to take, or help to be noticed, they just care. It’s selfless, as it should be, and in most cases it means the difference between an acquaintance or friend.
They will understand that you need time and space. They will care that you will feel overwhelmed and lost at times. That you will forget you already put on the kettle for the second time…and it’s almost cold again. They will know that there are times to talk, and times to just sit quietly together. That there are times you won’t want to see anyone, and the sound of your own voice will become exhausting and almost hurt to hear.
Among the list of things the right people won’t do however, is crowd you, ignore you completely, or tell you what and how you should handle things. Technically there is a good solid reason for people acting these ways. THEY ARE HORRIBLE FUCKERS. If there is ever a heartless time to act selfishly and start throwing around orders, it is when someone is already hurting, and trying to come to terms with something. It may be loss, grief, or just suffering a hurtful situation, but telling a person what to do is, (especially when it’s only for your own benefit) in my experience, the quickest way to be told exactly what you can do with your meager, thoughtless, aggressive, selfish, bitter opinion. Don’t say you weren’t warned.
One of the harder things, is realising that some of the people you thought would be there, are not. This can sometimes be balanced by the fact that some of the people you honestly didn’t realise would be there, are. It’s often a time to have to let go of more than you really thought you ever would. And it’s all you can do.
Grief, loss, stress, anxiety, depression is all always different for everybody. There are no rules, solid precedents, standard reactions or solutions. No standard anythings…
Having done this many, many times, I can say it’s true. You never recover fully. You never stop grieving or missing what is gone. You always, always have moments where you just suddenly, out of the blue, for no apparent reason… remember.
So remember. Don’t forget. Don’t ever feel like you should forget.
Don’t let another moment slip by Kids.
We have too few of them as it is.