Firstly, you have resorted to using a phrasing that compares people to animals, to try and describe their actions, because obviously there is no other way?…like just perhaps saying “She’ll never change her ways”, “He’s always been a nice guy” or maybe even “He’s always been like that, don’t know why you didn’t see that coming”.
Secondly, it really is true. But then again…why shouldn’t it be? We use it to explain the way in which people don’t change their actions, when what it really means, is that people don’t change their nature. Your nature revolves around the basic principles which you were raised on, coupled with the experience that life has given you, and the lessons learnt. Your nature is whether you are, at heart, a good person or a bad one. Your nature defines how you treat yourself and others. It cannot change, because it makes you, and is an ingrained part of, who you are. The only part that can change, is what you choose to do with it. Who you, to a degree, choose to be.
Furthermore, you need to look at the underlying reasons why people do things. Sure, they may have done something hurtful, but was it for the greater good? Was there a totally logical (maybe even just to them) reason for doing it? Were they even aware it was hurtful? In most cases, people don’t do things that they can’t justify to themselves, as being good (or at least not bad) in some way (unless animals get hurt, which is not excusable). Usually it references some kind of bad behaviour, but behaviour is something that can, and quite often does, change. It’s usually situational, so is it fair to judge a person based on this alone? (Just in case you thought that was only rhetorical, the answer is actually NO).
If you know a person and expect, or want, them to change, then maybe you should be taking a long hard look at yourself, as to why you want that. If you say you love them and want them to change…look deeper again.
Because, if you do love them….you should love them for who they are completely. You should want and accept them the way they are, spots and all. You shouldn’t want them to change, unless it is completely and selflessly for their own good. You should make the effort to understand their nature and why they do the things they do. If nowhere else in life can you display patience, this should be the one place you do. The differences in people make life as interesting as the commonalities, and you should celebrate them both equally.
Commit to your decision. Learn. Expand.
Because you knew they had spots from the start.
The truth is…We all do.
All that said, if you are more of a ‘stripes kind of person’, then walk away. Cleanse, free, find your stripes. Find the person, or people, that ‘fit’. Find the ones who make the effort to understand you.
As you can choose to be, like, and accept who you want…you can also choose to surround yourself with people, whether they be friends, colleagues or lovers, who compliment and enhance who you are. Those who not only love and accept you, but also like and respect you, for who you are.
Because it may do you to remember, there will always be someone out there comparing your spots to stripes too 😉
Food for thought, take your time to consume and digest.