Maybe, it’s because I’m getting older….nope, scratch that…it IS because I’m getting older, but I have a more and less thing happening. It’s in my tolerance for…well…everything.
When you’re younger I think you have more tolerance and patience, because you have to. You are not in control of pretty much anything, so you have to abide by the rules. Rules of law, rules of anyone older and more authorative than you, rules of etiquette, and many more. But once you get older, you start setting your own rules, and moreso, figuring out which ones can be broken, and which were really just set in place to keep you in check for others.
So, I guess it’s that with each passing year, I notice the amount of freedom of thought, actions, and reactions, I allow myself. The list of things I can tolerate peacefully is getting much shorter and my reaction time to this is getting quicker. In a nutshell, anyone or anything that pisses me off, will know about it quite quickly. I’m okay with that.
I find that I am developing (and consciously trying to have) much more patience for the things that really matter to me, the things and people I love.
I have all the patience in the world for my beautiful girls, and try and give them the attention and love they deserve, as best I can. I keep my temper in check for all the small things, because I know that unlike some people, they have pure hearts and intentions. I correct them when they need it, but never with cruelty or force.
With people, I am actively confronting problems as they arise, so they don’t snowball into much larger ones. I am trying to put aside awkwardness and discomfort, to discuss important things that really matter in the bigger scheme of things, in order to find solutions. I am trying my best to consider the way people feel, and not be so self-centred and ‘wanty’, but without disregarding my own pursuits.
I also find, on the other hand, that I have less tolerance for strangers, and things in general. The loud obnoxious people, bad drivers, arrogant, rude, self-important people, inconsiderate people. People that push into queues at the store, jerks that can’t merge on the highway, idiots that ride motorcycles in thongs and singlets, heartless arseholes that hurt animals…..and my fucking neighbours.
When you move into a house, you don’t know whether you will strike it lucky with neighbours, and I’m lucky in the fact that I have three good neighbours. The fourth and closest one, however is starting to boil my blood. They are a great many things from the above list, and I recall discussing their demise at the hand of some rusty garden tools (hypothetically, and in jest I swear…) not long ago.
They are an older couple, loud early risers with no consideration for others, and he makes no effort to lower his voice when degrading and swearing at his partner. However, don’t feel bad for her, because she sounds like a total wet dish-rag, who doesn’t actually realise he’s even insulting her, and often agrees with him. “Yes Dear…but…”
It’s fucking infuriating.
They have two annoyingly unoriginally named, irritating, yappy dogs, and a cat correspondingly named ‘Fluffy’. FFS.
My dogs are awesome. They want to eat both neighbouring dogs, and Fluffy.
I love music, and I usually always have it playing from some part of the house, but recently I have found days where I just prefer the quiet sound of… nothing. I drag ass from bed, make coffee and just sit in the quiet (when the neighbours are out) a while. Before the traffic and background assault on my ears begins, I just revel in the simple sounds of the wind, the rain, the dogs shuffling about, or the birds flicking about. It’s just so…nice.
I go to the beach late at night, to this special place, to escape the everything-ness of ‘here’, and just watch the water lap in, surrounded by nothing but a few glarey path-lights struggling to retain their dominance over the scene, and the wind drowning away the world. There is such calm and peace in that.
I lose temper on a daily basis (when I actually have to leave the house and interact) with people cutting rudely into traffic, ignorant attendants in shops that are almost automated in their lack of response to a simple greeting (caused by the ignorance of your general customer in turn), people who use others when it suits them and ignore them when it doesn’t, people who take others for granted, and those who judge before knowing the facts. Pretty much the lack of empathy and understanding displayed in 90% of the population of planet Earth is a standout.
The disclaimer on this post should probably read as follows, before I go on…
Yes I judge, but only the obviously poor choices that people make, that reflect their lack of self respect (and taste).
(Like a 400 pound girl in a horizontally black and white striped mini-dress, which didn’t actually cover about 300 of those pounds-*sorry for the nightmares*)
No, I’m not perfect, but I’m also not an overtly rude bitch. ( I judge silently or quietly to specific others)
Yes, I try and consider others in most situations, before affecting them in any way with my actions.
If you are nice and polite to me, I will be nice and polite to you (in most situations)
But, that said…if you are rude to me, if you fuck around and get in my way, if I’m having a reaaally bad day…you should be prepared to handle the wrath, of someone who is fast losing patience with knobs of the world, and just wants a little peace and quiet far away from here.
Vent over, Goodnight Kids,