Today is dark and wet and confining. The rain is belting down outside, leaving me caged inside with my girls, trying to both accomplish tasks that long should have been done, and motivate myself to start new things. To be honest, I’m finding it hard to focus on anything much. The jobs are getting done, slowly and in a very mixed up kind of fashion, but done.
I’ve tried to get the mundane everyday chores done, amidst making new products for the business, cooking experiments and spending time with my two ‘needys’. (The rain does this to them as much as me I feel. They ‘need’ to be around me, getting attention and love.) I even bit the bullet and just went out in the rain and washed the bike…but even after all of this, it doesn’t feel like I’ve accomplished anything. Or maybe a better way of putting it would be, I don’t feel accomplished.
I feel selfish today, because there’s something missing. Every day there’s something missing. And…just for today…I’m okay with feeling totally selfish and wanty, because that’s just the way I feel. I want things to be different, and better, and happy…and complete. I want all the things in my day to give me a sense of accomplishment, because I am not constantly thinking of being somewhere else. I want this feeling of everything being on hold to be over, so I can focus on making life amazing. I want to not be missing something. I want.
I’m not asking for the world…
I just want rainy days to be something to look forward to, to curl up inside of, to keep the world away…