But I’m not the only one…

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So this week has been full. Full of little stresses, things to do or get finished, but most of all full of emotion. Because of this, I knew they were coming. They always do when it’s like this. Colourful and full of detail, confronting or confusing, but most of all vivid. The dreams. My dreams. A reflection of all the things in my mind…pretty scary stuff.
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I wish I could control what I dream about. It would likely make my days that much easier to handle right now. If I could just go where I wanted when I closed my eyes. But I cannot, and like a lotto ticket, it just doesn’t work out if I try. In ‘most’ cases (unless they are somehow extremely relevant in some way) I can’t even see the people I am dreaming of. I know they are there, but can’t actually look upon a face. It’s a feeling, a ‘sense’ they are with me.

From what I can tell, my brain goes through phases of dreaming. I don’t always dream-Sometimes there are big blocks of time with nothing at all. I get them in four categories:
-recurring
– little glimpses that I don’t, or only vaguely remember
-the recounts of real events I wish I could forget
-the remix of real things into new scenarios.
The latter two…these are doozies. They are the kind where you wake up wondering where the hell you are, and if only for a few seconds, if ‘that really just happened’. Some are horrible, some good, some could likely make a seasoned Hooker blush, but mostly they are an obscure mash-up of all the small day-to-day things in my life, blown out of proportion and then jumbled back into another plot altogether. I do remember these, like a snapshot behind my eyes.

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Occasionally they are just totally off this planet weird and surreal. Stuff like people battling large buses of tentacled alien monsters with acid hose-guns, celebrity appearances on the waters of Venice, and vampirical chases on cobbled roads that end in all manner of trouble in emporiums of mirrors. I stopped paying attention to these ones specifically. They probably just mean I watch too many movies.

Tonight’s episode was a shining example of category four. I was feeling utterly exhausted, had a workout, showered and then woke up almost two hours later with my phone in my hand, still wrapped in a towel and wondering what just happened. No there was no Rohypnol involved and nobody else here…just to be clear. A very strange dream which made little sense, until it kind of did, then all the pieces finally fitted together.

It wouldn’t make sense to anyone else. It would just seem like a ‘quite wrong’ basic manifestation, but it was the where, the who, and the what that made sense. It was a totally unrealistic and unreasonable situation…that made sense because I know the why.

I gave up reading about dreams and the significance of them a long time ago. Most books relate generic meanings to generic symbols. Most books clash on what these meanings should be, similar I think to reading a book on the afterlife…who really knows? Even if they did, I know very few people who have ever willingly wanted to get inside my mind and figure it out.

My dreams can be a little on the ‘too real’ side sometimes, and evoke bad feelings when I first wake up, but they are just dreams/nightmares. A visual representation of your innermost fears and thoughts. I make up for it with all the good daydreams I have on tap from my memories, rather than the demons in my subconscious.
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But only for now…

Do you dream? Are they real or rubbish? Enquiring minds want to know…

Sleep sound Kids.

Cheers, V

 

 

 

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