While the very thought of it almost brings a small tear to my eye right now, this is not what you may have thought it was initially going to refer to. All of you who thought it was…get your minds out of the gutter (and grab mine while you’re down there please)?
It is literally about getting service, internet to be exact.
My internet service is usually a sketchy. It is a spin of the wheel each day when I hit that little power button, as to whether or not the lights will flash, mouse in the machine will wake up and start spinning on that treadmill, to bring the interwebs into my day or not. Most days he groggily puts on his runners, but at least twice a month, he gets as burnt out as I feel on a regular basis, and just stops to take a breather.
It’s become a routine of sorts. Shut down, unplug, reset, wait ten, reboot…wait…nothing. Ring provider, lodge issue, listen to some foreign, barely legible call centre attendant tell me that the problem is on ‘my end’, pretend to do what they tell me to do and then wait for them to reset the system at ‘their end’. Wala.
I have been told to do everything from a simple reset, to taking the batteries out of the modem, rubbing my tummy whilst patting my head, Incan raindances, to turning off all power supply completely. Usually the problem is resolved with a series of instructions, lies and crossed fingers.
Yesterdays fault incorporated a new level of incompetence into the equation entirely. Not only was I told that I was not authorised to speak about the account, I had discussed with them on a regular basis previously (they had to call my ‘husband’ for authorisation), but also that the problem was with the outside signal and I would require a technician visit.
Being that it was 10am on a Friday, I run most of my business online and nobody would be available to visit until the following morning (to be very exact-between 7am-12), you can imagine how stoked I was at this prospect.
As the odds have it, if you are waiting impatiently for someone to arrive to fix something between 7am-12, they will undoubtedly arrive at 11.59am, however, being that my increasingly usual bedtime of 4am on Friday night occurred, this of course changes the game. At the bright early hour of 7.22am my phone rang (and to be honest, I’m amazed I heard it let alone answered it), with a horribly bright and cheery tech on the line to inform me he would be on my doorstep in 15 minutes. Yay.
I vaguely remember hoping it was a dream, thinking of being somewhere else, with someone else, snuggling my Sparky and going back to sleep. My girls loudly reminded me that it was in fact, not a dream 15 minutes later when the guy knocked on the door. I don’t recall exactly what I was wearing when I answered the door, half asleep, wild hair…but it made him laugh at me. On second thought, maybe it was the fact that I told him my internet was in fact working again, and the call centre guy was a ‘total knob’, that made him twitch and chuckle maniacally? Apparently it was the third call he had been to already with the same description-what a fun filled morning he had had, and it was only 7.37am.
To his credit, he decided to check things out for me anyway, and came back down his ladder from the street pole with a very fried looking little piece of melted plastic that should have, at some stage, resembled circuitry that provided my internet signal.
The nice young man was very forgiving of the fact that, after a whopping less than 4 hours sleep, pre-coffee, I could barely string together a comprehensible sentence. He twitched slightly nervously as my little Cujo stuffed her nose through the deck porthole and snarled at him, not knowing that the prospect of an early morning visitor, was just making the tail at the other end (which he couldn’t see) wag. This one unfortunately didn’t bring me coffee, yet didn’t falter as he promised me that I would still have service, and someone else would appear unannounced mid-week to replace the second part of the problem, which he could not ‘jimmy free of the pole’ because it had ‘melted on’.
Hopefully this means that the monthly routine of phone calls, bitter resentment and internet abstinence has come to an end.
As for the other?… I’m hoping that will come to an end shortly too 😉 Fingers crossed all round I guess.
Time to face the day Kids. As I sit here with a hot espresso in hand, I can only hope everyone I encounter today is as ‘forgiving’ as my morning tech.