Dog speed


Today I lost a friend. My best friend.
Sure he was covered in fur, had four legs instead of two and drooled a lot. But he was my best friend.
He was the one who walked beside me through some really shitty times and kept pace. He was the one who
pounced beside me at the beach on his never-ending obsessive quest to fetch toys. He was the one who knew ALL
my deepest secrets. The one who protected me and mine. My best friend.

Almost 12 years ago I needed a dog. I knew I wanted a Rottweiler, so I searched around breeders until I found one
close by, and off I went to find him. When I arrived, there were puppies running amok in a pen on the grass, all so
cute and fuzzy and yappy. This one little boy caught my eye. He had a scar on his back, which, when I enquired, was told
it was a genetic defect passed on by the mother. “He’s on sale. He can’t be ‘shown’ with a defect” So that sealed the deal, and my
“Bargain basement” puppy came home with me.

I struggled with a name and landed on ‘Tyler’ I don’t know why, it just seemed to fit. We moved around a bit when he was a
pup back in my single days, but he was content wherever we were. He developed an obsession for toys, balls or anything you could throw, and he could fetch.

When I turned 25 Ty and I hustled off to Brisbane, low on money, true friends and self esteem, with nothing but a suitcase in hand and no idea where we were going to end up. I thankfully found a place quickly where I could have a dog and shifted everything in.
In the following few years I kept to myself, lost friends, loves and drank vodka. Lots of Vodka. Many times the cheap nasty vodka
that could easily take tarnish off coins. Ty was always taken care of, but myself, maybe not so much.
It was these times more than others, that I counted him as one of my very few blessings. He kept me sane. Many times the thought of leaving him on his own was the only thing that stopped me from doing something stupid and maybe irreversible.

The day I met my Chili everything changed in not just my life, but Ty’s life too. He now had to share his ample side of the comfy
bed with ‘the new guy’ reluctantly. Many nights he would crawl between us, extend his legs and do his best to push Chili out onto
the floor. Others he would just stand between us at inopportune moments. he had been the only man in my life for a long time.
Over time Tyler realised that Chili was a keeper came to love him too, as a “Dad”.

Issy came along as a little sister for Ty, who he nurtured and fussed over and protected. They became inseparable and either one
would fret should we take one and not the other out the front door.
Zodiac has recently become the fourth addition to the family as a foster fail. Just couldn’t give her back 😉

Just a week ago, Tyler got sick. We shuffled him off to the vet double step. Over the following few days he seemed to get better with antibiotics, and it would be an understatement to say I was relieved. We had a family photo-shoot booked for that weekend, which he was only too happy to take part in (lots of treats). Yesterday saw all of that change for the worse. he started heading downhill again quickly. Back to the Vet.

And it was at 3.33pm this afternoon, with a heart so heavy it could sink to the very bottom of the ocean, I answered the phone. Stabbing inexplicable pain and tears  followed. Imagine the very worst pain you could think of (worse than stepping on lego) and then
multiply it by more times than there are numbers. That is what I am feeling right now.
Everything, nothing, pain, numb, and everything I look at produces memories and more barrages of tears and sobs.
My boy is gone. All I want to do is go and get him, scoop him up and hug him tight. But I can’t. He is gone.

We said our final farewells, gave him lots of pats, hugs and whispered in his ear, all the things I thought it was important he take with him on his journey.

I will never stop loving or missing my boy. These images are courtesy of the wonderful Amy at Muddy Dog Photography, who shared
Ty’s last weekend with us and captured his big heart and goofy smile.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

XX-V

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3 thoughts on “Dog speed

  1. Meagan Ellis says:

    My heart is absolutely breaking for you. 😦

  2. Sheryl Buchan says:

    I am now in flloods of tears. You were obviously so right for each other and then as part of a family. I sometimes think that it is harder to lose a very much loved animal friend than a human friend, as they are the only ones who truly know all about us and love us anyway. My heart is breaking for you all, fur babies included. Hugs to you all. Your family portrait is stunning.

  3. vampresskat says:

    Thank-you both. I feel truly lost today waking up without him. It is harder, because you can never really say goodbye. If only there was a moment at the end where language became universal and you could totally understand each other.

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