All about loss.

Loss is hard, whether good or bad, always hard.

A friend recently asked the universe this very question…”Why am I so afraid of loss?” The answer seemed simple to me, having dealt
with the topic a lot.
“Because that fear lets us know that what we have is worth keeping” It is a healthy fear, it keeps us grounded.

This week the world lost many people, amongst the more publicized from the musical word-Adrock from the Beastie Boys and Donald ‘Duck’ Dunn, one of the best bass players in the business (Blues Brothers ref). Amongst the lesser publicized but just as important and notable-Melanie Doerman.
Who? I hear your brain ticking. Melanie was a dear friend of ours, whom we spent time with in L.A on our last trip to the U.S.

I could tell you that Melanie was a beautiful, kind woman. I could tell you that she was a talented beader/jewellery maker. I could tell you that she was an inspiration starting her own business. I could tell you she was a great adventurous motorcycle rider, who travelled the U.S solo for a month. There are many other things I could tell you about Melanie, but the most important thing I can say is that she was a friend. We will miss her, even from hundreds of miles away, knowing she is no longer in the world, makes it a little bit less bright each day.
Melanie had just finished her first book which is now published and available here…

In the theme of loss, I will also touch on something else very personal at this time of year-Mother’s Day.
For those of you who don’t know, my own Mother, the amazing woman she was, passed away when I was just 8 years old.
My Mother was the best one ever. She was a professional doll and teddy bear maker by trade (what a way for a kid to grow up huh?!). We were surrounded by toys and affection growing up. My Mum taught me to sew, be creative and so many other things. Special occasions were always that little bit more ‘special’ and we grew up climbing trees, catching bees in plastic bags (well maybe that was just me) and becoming independent little people.
It was a great childhood, cut short by Mr Cancer.
It has been a long time now, but each year, when people ask if I am going to visit my Mother, it still brings that little twinge back when I have to tell them that I can’t. She is with me every day, but I often do wonder what she thinks when she looks down on my life today.
I can only hope she would be proud of my achievements big or small and that I have found someone I love to share them with 🙂

And finally on a positive note-more loss, but of the good kind!
I finally bit the bullet and joined a gym. I can’t help but feel a little proud of myself for just doing it. It’s a great ladies only gym, with a team that offers genuine support. No ‘fishbowl’ style of gym, where everyone can walk past the front window and gape at you wobbling all over. No self obsessed gym junkies loving themselves in mirrors (and that’s mostly the employees).

I have been three times so far (my required allotted visits for the week) and even though I don’t have to go in the morning, I find myself trying to find the time to slot it in anyway. I feel good when I leave and it makes my day better. I really want to stick with it and see results. I am so sick of feeling frumpy and disappointed with the way I look. I want to bring sexy back! So it starts here and now! Go Me!! I’ll keep you posted as to how it’s going.




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